it's getting harder to hold my head up!

I sit here everyday and listen to how good allie is doing and i watch her and i am so proud. but then i stop and look around the NICU. Allie and one other baby is the oldest one here. the other baby has more problems than allie, but all of the other babies that where here at the same time and some after her are already gone home. I know our day is coming soo soon i can see it, but it's so hard to keep your head up at times. Today was an awesome day today. she now gets a bottle every other feed and she gets a whole ounce now!!! but she is also getting tired with her bottles. the nurse tonight wont help me try to feed her she just says "oh well she is too tired" and she is not she is trying hard. they also think her hemoglobin is low which is not the greatest news ever. so i sit here and think we have all these good things that are happening and have us so close to home. but then we have bad things. i am hearing them talk outside the room about a baby that is younger than allie fixing to go home. he is about to start carseat trials. and where i hear that i get more down. I try to look at the good and trust in GOD and know that he holds it all and when he is ready it will happen, but it's so hard to sit here and wait on something you want so bad. so i ask that all of our readers pray for us. pray that allie hurries up and becomes a big girl and go home. and pray for my strenghth and peace of mind bout this all. this is the most tiring thing i have EVER done in my whole life. and i know soon it will be a distant memory and i will be home with my miracle and happy, but for now its hard!