Sleepy Time

When we brought Allie home she had a pack-n-play that had a co-sleeper. Well in no time she out grew the co-sleeper and then it turned into a bassanet. The past few nights she has not been sleeping that good. She has been waking up at about 2 to 3 AM. It has been pretty easy to get her back to sleep, but i know she is not resting good. She has a crib, but it is not in our room, and i am way too chicken to put her in her own room. So tonight we moved he crib into our room and we are going to try it to see how she sleeps. I am still freaking out that she will not be right next to me. I know to some people it's not a big deal, but to me and most mothers of premiees it freaks us out. So pray for us tonight and i will let you know how it goes!

Long time, No post

Well guys I am sorry it's been such a long time since i have updated everyone. When it got close to us leaving the hospital there wasn't much to post about. Then when we got home we didn't have Internet. Now we have Internet so i will be able to keep you updated. Allie has grown so much!! She is 6 months old and weighs 8 pounds 7 ounces 20 1/2 inches long. That's a long way from 1 pound  3 ounces 12 1/2 inches! She now "talks", rolls over, laughs, and she can take her paci out of her mouth. She eats cereal and started baby food last week. She loves carrots and squash so far, and hates green beans. She don't really know what to think of her cereal. She LOVES mirrors, which if i was that beautiful i would too...lol! It has been awesome having her home. Then at times it has been hard. You can't sleep in and let the nurses handle one feeding. And she has had problems with her old milk. I caused her to have trouble pooping and she didn't eat at all and just cried. She lost 4 ounces from all of that, but we have new milk and have it fixed now. She is still in newborn clothes. Carters newborns are almost too small, but any other brand is too big still. I have to say her size is one thing that I love and hate about her being early. I love it because i get to still have a "infant" but i hate it for several reasons. clothing is one. Like i have no clue what size she will be in the summer, so i can't buy clothes. Also i hate it because she wants to move so much. I swear if she could get up and walk she would. I just hate that she is a 6 month old stuck in a newborn body. I know it will get better, but it's just hard to watch her get frustrated because she can't do something. Plus i am tired of people thinking i am lying about her age...lol!

So Much To Be THANKFUL For!!

As Thanksgiving approaches i sit and think of all that i have been given this year. Yes this year has been a hard, long year, but i must say it was and is well worth it. At the beginning of the year Jordan lost his job and we lost our house and had to move in with his mom. Then a month later I found out I was pregnant. I was so over joyed but at the same time i thought we are in no position to have a baby right now!! But never once did anything but having her cross my mind!! Then we had a tough pregnancy. Bleeding, clotting disorders, spina bifida scare and then her coming early. We also had a wedding planned but due to pregnancy issues it got cancelled, and we went to the court house after Allie came. The 100 days we spent in the NICU was the greatest and worsts days of my life. I am so glad it turned out the way it did, and that we didn't have to go down the road that alot of parents have to. So this year I have a bunch of stuff to be thankful for!  I have my amazing daughter, who is my world and i don't know what i would of done if i lost her. I have my wonderful husband, I know he couldn't be there as much as we both wanted him to, but if it wasn't for him alot of the times i would of lost it! I am thankful for my awesome family, Especially my mother. We have a few bumpy years but we are doing good now. And when Allie was first born she was there every step. She has help all 3 of us so much that i don't know where we would be without her. I have so Great friends that also helped me alot and probably got most of my venting then anything, but they didn't mind. So this year I am so thankful for everything. We have been so blessed and I thank GOD everyday for all I have. I know life has it's bumps, but there are things along the way that make those bumps just distant nightmares. So be thankful for every step in life, because you never know where the next one take you. I just pray next year is half as good this one has been, but i am predicting a better year!! :)

Allie's 1st Halloween!!

Today was Allison's first Halloween, and as fun as it was I wish it would of been a little different. No i wouldn't of taken her "trick-or-treating", but it would of been better. Her daddy could of been part of it. Her brothers could of seen her, and i could of seen them. I am so thankful for what i have and how far we have come but it is still hard to do some of her "first" here. Also Saturday was Allison's due date. I wasn't sad, i was depressed. I didn't think it would of bothered me, but i was bothered. I was bothered on how this has happen. When i prayed for Allie i never in a million years expect this to happen. Not that me staying on best rest would of helped, but if it would of i would stay on bed rest for 40 weeks, just to not go through this. These past 3 months have been the BEST and WORST days of my life. They were the best because, Allie was born and she survived, I got to watch her grow and thrive, and the main reason is because i am now a mother. They were the worst because, Allie was born early and had to go through more than any baby should ever have to go through, i had to sit her and watch her struggle and fight for her life, i had to do it ALL alone, i missed a lot of stuff at home. But no matter what i went through is nothing compared to what she has gone through. I am proud of here each and everyday, and no matter what she goes through each day she is so happy and gets over it so fast. I know she knows no different but she has made me a better person, by watching her fight and not give up, and i am sure she could of a few times. I am still very upset at my body, i still morn the fact i didn't get a full pregnancy. I am still mad things didn't go my way. But they went God's way and his way is the best even if we don't like what he gives us. It could of been much worse than what it was and because of him and Allie not giving up it didn't. So as much as i sit back and complain bout the whole situation, deep down inside I am glad it went the way it did. And i would do it a thousand times more if it gave me ALLISON. I love her more than life its self. She is the reason i wake up and the reason i breath. So I am now perfectly fine with the way my birth plan turned to be!

Going "SHOPPING"...AKA HOME!!!!

I never thought this post was coming so soon! Allie got her feeding tube taken out this morning. She also got her oxygen taken off. Then the doctor came in for rounds and told me as long as Allie continues to gain weight and does good without oxygen, she will be going home next week!!! WHOOOO freaking HOOOOO!!!! I am so on cloud nine, i am trying not to get too excited, but thats just me i cant contain my emotions!!! I like to stay positive so that it happens!! ALL the glory goes to GOD for this wonderful miracle!!! I can't even begin to discribe the feeling of this. I am such a proud mamma, and i have the best daughter in the world. She is such a fighter, and has been since day one. I think she gets that from me!!

we are soo blessed

I sat down the other day and started looking at all the pictures of Allie. From time she was born until now. Can I just say...WOW. I have been so caught up in the moment of being a new mommy and just so happy that she was alive, that i didn't realize how bad she looked. I started crying when i looked at them all. Now i have seen the before, but on the camera. This time i sat down and viewed them from the computer, on a big screen. I never realized how black and blue she looked. Or how in some pictures ( excuse me i am just speaking what i saw) how she looked like she was dead, or heading there. I am sooo glad we have come this far. No matter how much i complain bout this NICU life. It's so much better than her not being here at all. I would do it over if i had to just to have my daughter. And now that we are approaching going home, it's all a distant memory...or sometimes a nightmare...and most of a the BIGGEST blessing i have ever been given!! I can never say the many thank you's to GOD before my life is over. So instead i will show him by being the best mother i can be. And i can so not wait to get home and do it on my own. All these wires will be gone, no nurses. No offence to you guys. Y'all are the best, and sometimes i wouldn't make it without you!!!! You have been my rock at times, but i will take with me what you have taught me!! No worries :) Oh thinking bout the day makes me want to squeal..lol i cant wait to snuggle her up when i want and walk around with her and give her an actual bath. I just CAN'T freaking wait!

and I thought...OH NO

So since Allie has been taking bottles she has done wonderful. They have upped the amount giving by bottle. They have upped how many times she was getting botles. She was her speech thearipstest star student. Then on the 4th of october i ran out of breast milk. The medicine they give to bring in your milk made me go crazy so i aint taking that again. They have an herbal thing i can take called finugreek(maybe spelled wrong), but i was told that she couldn't have milk that had it in it until she was term. So back to my story, she got put on full formula the 4th and ever since then the umpth she has on takeing bottles has went down. It all started big time yesterday, when the best nurse at feeding a baby couldn't get her to eat. She hardly took any for me lastnight and this morning she took only half. So i thought OH NO. here we go again. I thought they are going to have to stop bottles because she is not tollerating them. Robin (speech) came in this afternoon to work with her and to see what is going on. She took only 8cc's out of 30cc's!!! UGGHHH is what i wanted to say. Then we all got to brain storming! And since she has been on full formula she has went down hill on the bottles. So speech, the nurse and I came to the conclusion. She is full of poop, she hasn't pooped in 21/2 days, and that she is probably full from it all so she dont want to eat. We also talked bout not likeing the formula. So we are trying a few things and ohh how I pray that they work. 1 we are stopping her iron ( causes constipation) and giving her liquid gliserin( to make her poop, they said clean her out) and then try tomorrow. If she is better tomorrow then thats all they are going to do. But if that does not work then they are going to change her formula and also they said i can take the herb to bring my milk back in and they will just add it to the formula like they was doing!! WHOOO I feel like we dogdged a big bullet there. I was so afraid that they was going to stop her bottles and we were going to be back to square one. I am so glad that it's because she is full of poop!!!